So many things transpire in a typical day for each of us, and all we have most of the time is the way we as ourselves perceive them. Even empathy is hard to relate to when you’ve got your ego screaming and throwing a tantrum in your skull as you try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. I bring this up because even though we all have an ego, some of us tend to cage that thing up and muffle its cries even in poor situations. Muffling the ego in that respect is a bad thing as this to me is evidence that we don’t feel ourselves worthy enough to be heard or respected.
Raise your hand if you’re like this…
(Slowly raising my hand)
I was alerted today that some of my unhappiness is likely related to not setting boundaries for how I will and won’t be treated. I kinda feel like complete and utter crap about myself on a fairly regular basis and here I am being told it’s my fault, awesome. In a sense I am giving people the silent go ahead to walk all over me. That was hard to hear but as soon as I heard it I knew it immediately to be true. So at least I got the whole acceptance part outta the way! The weirdest part about it is that I’ve been known to cast a pretty long shadow and exhibit almost delusional confidence at times. Lately and for a while though that’s not been the case. So then came the challenge to me to figure out what they are and where those boundary lines need to be placed. That’s something I’m still working on. I don’t necessarily think the ego is a bad thing, I think when utilized effectively it drives us toward success. Hubris is a quality however that makes me root for the demise of its possessor when I am exposed to that sort of individual.
My new task for the near future is to entrench better boundaries into my day to day life and also into my personal life. It is a challenge I don’t take lightly, but one that gives me some confidence at the outset as I know it will be a healthy thing to bring back into the persona I project to the world.