Taking a moment

I am in between work tasks and decided to take a few minutes to come outside and enjoy the sunshine.  The heat, and the subtle smells of spring feel full of hope and promise. It’s a far cry from the feelings I’ve been writing on lately.  I talked with a friend for some time last evening, a friend I haven’t spoken with in months.  It was an incredibly easy catch-up for the two of us.  The way friends can go so long without speaking and then pick up as if a day hadn’t passed is incredibly comforting. To exchange compliments on what we’ve seen from the others ‘life’ in social media was fun as well, because it turned out neither of us quite had a proper bead on how the other was actually doing.  We assume because we see, we know absolutely. What fools we are in that sort of assumption.  A lot of kind and caring things were said to me, and it’s made a difference.  I tend to take narrow views when things get difficult and it takes the outsiders perspective to knock me out of that at times.  Mostly it was my narrow view that if I fail at the tasks that are set before me, I’ll be judged mercilessly by the masses. It was encouraging to hear this friend state that not only was I nuts to feel that way, but they were already proud of me, and that they aren’t the only ones who feel blessed to call me a friend.  I sound like a blowhard at the moment but it came as a revelation of sorts. Even in ‘failure’ I have value to those that really care.  I love my friends and those I value whether they fall flat on their faces or fly like birds. It’s been harder to feel that I am worthy of the same treatment and love mostly because of the amount of isolation I’ve been experiencing the couple few months.  I’m convinced good friends will save your life. To give is a great thing and to have that giving given back is a phenomenal feeling.  Like Tony Robbins said, ‘it’s not about me, it’s about we’.  It felt good to exchange happiness yesterday, really really good.  

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